Wednesday, December 1, 2010

On the first...

I'm not sure what it means to wake up enormously late for work, have your cat pee on the Christmas tree skirt, and say goodbye to your husband for three weeks on the first day of December, but surely it isn't a sign of what's to come for the remaining 30 days.

Let's not forget I fudged (charred) last night's crock pot meal, which was meant to be Chris' "going away/birthday dinner," but my bang-up job on eggnog pudding cake was the silver-lining and saved me from a whiny 'I'm a terrible cook' rampage.

FYI: Adding two hours to the suggested cook time is unnecessary and will force you to mosey on over to that neighborhood burger joint you've been meaning to try.

But alas, these instances are trivial and having cozy Christmas tunes in my ear make me realize just that.

I mean, who in here HASN'T completely ruined dinner or yelled "$#!T" as they ran out the door with dirty hair and unbuttoned pants?

And although he won't be here to put the final trimmings on the tree, or help me wrap gifts, Chris will be home for Christmas. There are those that will have to be without their other during the holidays and, as my niece says, that makes my feelings sad.

Perspective.

Christmastime makes my feelings happy. It's not so much the actual day, but the anticipation of it all. The baking, decorating, the coffees flavored with holiday goodness. It's the Home Alone, Home Alone 2 (Lost in New York), Elf, and White Christmas. It's being nestled between your mum and dad on a pew, holding a candle, singing an instrument-less Silent Night.

Chills.

While many of those reasons may be superficial when relating to the beautiful point and reason for Christmas, dear friends and family, my fondest memories won't be of the gifts I gave or received, but my time spent with you.

I sound cliché.

But that's okay, you'll forgive me because it's the most wonderful time of the year. In order to have a holly jolly Christmas, it isn't necessary to deck the halls, but to wish peace on the earth and goodwill to men. Without that, you'll be scrooged.



Owlie Santa says Hoo, Hoo, Hoo


- Posted from my awesome iPhone

Friday, November 19, 2010

Vacating

I have a travel itch that must be scratched and a weekend getaway simply won't do.

What I'm looking for is a full-on, one to two week, must-get-on-a-plane VAY CAY TION.

To where?

Well, there's Hawaii.

Or Paris

Canada?

NYC

Skiing in Colorado?


The choices are endless! But the funds are not.

One day. One day my sweet friend.





- Posted from my awesome iPhone

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Look, Ma

I don't know if you'll believe me, but there's a turkey in my crock pot.

Surprisingly, this is not my usual "that's what she said" joke or a coy way of telling you I'm pregnant (because I'm not).

This is literal.

We received this 5qt. piece of equipment wonder for our wedding two years ago and last night it was finally de-boxed and prepped for it's maiden voyage.

I have never ever ever ever made anything in a crock pot. Ever.

And I have never ever ever ever cooked a turkey. Ever.

We are seven hours away from a masterpiece, or real disaster. You will be notified either way.

I feel like implementing the crock pot into my bi-monthly cooking routine is my final initiation into womanhood (yes, finally at 26). If this meal is a success, I can do A N Y T H I N G. Like, give birth, or install light fixtures.

Speaking of light fixtures, I bought this new coffee creamer and it is just numners. Southern pecan in my coffee and in my mouth?






Yes.





An Owlie a day will keep the mice at bay.



- Posted from my awesome iPhone

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Today





- Posted from my awesome iPhone

Friday, November 5, 2010

Facemash

Dear Mr. Zuckerberg,

My husband and I saw The Social Network last night and the only baffling part about your "story" is that you insist on wearing Adidas slip-ons CONSTANTLY. Sometimes, with socks.

How many pair of those sandals do you own? Is it just the one? Surely you could spring for a new style/color, or something in a closed-toe for the cooler months.

Have you made an endorsement deal with Adidas? What's that? You haven't considered it, but you like my idea? Oh, I see where you're going with this.

Not so fast, Mark. You steal my idea and I'll sue you for millions!

And the joke is on me because you'll still be a billionaire. Which brings me back to, why can you not purchase a decent pair of shoes?

Kindest regards,
Emily

P.s. I need to make a quick buck but am too lazy to come up with something original. Thoughts?



- Posted from my awesome iPhone

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Juno

Halloween.



- Posted from my awesome iPhone

A rap.

Can someone drop a beat?


Didn't want the flu, made an appointment for the shot
Was outside watching Muse and a cold is what I caught.

Stayed home all day, to make the fever go away
Now I'm back, my head is a balloon and I can't stop hack(ing).


You're welcome.


- Posted from my awesome iPhone