Vacating

I have a travel itch that must be scratched and a weekend getaway simply won't do.

What I'm looking for is a full-on, one to two week, must-get-on-a-plane VAY CAY TION.

To where?

Well, there's Hawaii.

Or Paris

Canada?

NYC

Skiing in Colorado?


The choices are endless! But the funds are not.

One day. One day my sweet friend.





- Posted from my awesome iPhone

Look, Ma

I don't know if you'll believe me, but there's a turkey in my crock pot.

Surprisingly, this is not my usual "that's what she said" joke or a coy way of telling you I'm pregnant (because I'm not).

This is literal.

We received this 5qt. piece of equipment wonder for our wedding two years ago and last night it was finally de-boxed and prepped for it's maiden voyage.

I have never ever ever ever made anything in a crock pot. Ever.

And I have never ever ever ever cooked a turkey. Ever.

We are seven hours away from a masterpiece, or real disaster. You will be notified either way.

I feel like implementing the crock pot into my bi-monthly cooking routine is my final initiation into womanhood (yes, finally at 26). If this meal is a success, I can do A N Y T H I N G. Like, give birth, or install light fixtures.

Speaking of light fixtures, I bought this new coffee creamer and it is just numners. Southern pecan in my coffee and in my mouth?






Yes.





An Owlie a day will keep the mice at bay.



- Posted from my awesome iPhone

Today

- Posted from my awesome iPhone

Facemash

Dear Mr. Zuckerberg,

My husband and I saw The Social Network last night and the only baffling part about your "story" is that you insist on wearing Adidas slip-ons CONSTANTLY. Sometimes, with socks.

How many pair of those sandals do you own? Is it just the one? Surely you could spring for a new style/color, or something in a closed-toe for the cooler months.

Have you made an endorsement deal with Adidas? What's that? You haven't considered it, but you like my idea? Oh, I see where you're going with this.

Not so fast, Mark. You steal my idea and I'll sue you for millions!

And the joke is on me because you'll still be a billionaire. Which brings me back to, why can you not purchase a decent pair of shoes?

Kindest regards,
Emily

P.s. I need to make a quick buck but am too lazy to come up with something original. Thoughts?



- Posted from my awesome iPhone

Juno

Halloween.



- Posted from my awesome iPhone

A rap.

Can someone drop a beat?


Didn't want the flu, made an appointment for the shot
Was outside watching Muse and a cold is what I caught.

Stayed home all day, to make the fever go away
Now I'm back, my head is a balloon and I can't stop hack(ing).


You're welcome.


- Posted from my awesome iPhone